I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
