dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
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Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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