Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
