I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
