I wish I only lived at night.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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