why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
