i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
