Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
