Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
