Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
