New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
