I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
