ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
did you just send me my own nude
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
