That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
