I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize