Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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