What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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