He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
