I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
