No, you can still breathe under the balls.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
