I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize