we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
