That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
