shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
