So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
