I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
