i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
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there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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