he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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