come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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