guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
