If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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