I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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