she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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