Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
