We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
