do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
