worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
