Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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