But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
