I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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