you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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