Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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