EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize