I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
