Your tits are I can't wait for
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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