I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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