She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
