: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
