I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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