On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
