what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
do herpes really smell.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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