No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
