cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
