he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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