Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
