And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
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Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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