i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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