Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
