Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
