it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize