You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
